Baby Sky

If I Die Young

I know #IfIDieYoung has been already trending since yesterday. But, I was so in good mood  to think about it since yesterday was my birthday. FYI, it’s my last birthday i could spend in my hometown with family. Next years I’ve to spend it in Depok, with friends.

I expected too much. Yet, nothing happened. I was home alone, in afternoon dad, mom, and little bro got home and gave me a small gift.  Then I back to my laptop to do homework and to browse. My friends on facebook and twitter keep sending me birthday greeting as if we were celebrating it. My phone inbox was flooded by messages as well. But what’s point of it if none of them was with me that day. And they that I expected too much didn’t even say anything to me. Nor on twitter, facebook, or message. Where the hell are you, guys!

For make it even worse, in the night my cousin texted me to help him to get connected to his gf by skype. It was about more than 10 messages we replied each other’s. He hardly get what i said. At 22.30 no message came anymore. I guessed it’s already done. I was about to sleep when the thought came. WHAT I MEAN TO HIM? He didn’t even say any thank-you to me as he connected already with his gf. WTF. What did I do all this time with my friends. WHAT I MEAN TO YOU, GUYS?

This morning #IfIDieYoung is still trending. I try to figure out what just happened. May be i’m not worth their love? May be they don’t see me as the way i do toward them? Nobody knows.  I’ve tried my best to show my love for them, especially on their birthday. But, nothing for me. I wonder WHAT I MEAN TO YOU, GUYS.

#IfIDieYoung I wonder who will cry and who will miss me. But #IfIDieYoung I want my friends to celebrate my life. Not to mourn  my death. Just if I’m lucky to have friends who will mourn my death 😦


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